


Oceans

by Curious_Archer



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alice is Adorable, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And Waverly, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Disclaimer I Do Not Own These Characters, Doc is Not a Hero As Per my Interpretation of his Canon Personality, F/F, Flashbacks, Nicole and Alice Michelle, Nicole is a Total Mom, Slow Burn Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, So is Wynonna, Some Trust Issues There
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-15 22:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16073099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Curious_Archer/pseuds/Curious_Archer
Summary: Nicole is back in Purgatory over five years after an unexpected twist of fate took her away from her home and her loved ones. She wishes things had been better when she left. She wishes they had a chance to fix things, but fate has never been so kind. She gave up everything she knew and loved to do this, and she gained one of the greatest loves she has ever experienced. But what now? How is she going to navigate this?orThe fallout from the defeat of Bulshar affects Waverly and Nicole more than anyone could have expected. The revenants don't disappear when Buldhar ends the Curse, and after a call from Perry to inform her that Gus has died, Nicole leaves Purgatory at the request of Wynonna, without getting to talk to Waverly before she goes. Now it's five years later, and Nicole doesn't know what to do.





	1. 'Minded

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, I'm just using them. They belong to the brilliant mind of Emily Andras.  
> This Idea has been floating around in my head for a while, I just wasn't sure how to write it, but the inspiration finally hit me recently. Please Read and Review, Let me know what you think and if you think I should continue!

Nicole felt like her chest was going to collapse inwards and crush her heart.

The thought makes her wince. That was a little dramatic.

It had been over five years. She wishes that she could have explained.

She wishes that she didn’t have to go alone.

An uneasy peace had settled over Purgatory after the last battle. After what happened in Eden, tensions were high between all who were involved. None of them were sure if this was really it, if this was really over, so they waited. They fought amongst themselves.

The memories of the fights she had makes Nicole feel as though the walls are closing in and she’s running out of oxygen. She claws at her collar and pulls it away from her throat. Everything had gone so wrong when they should have been, finally, going right. But that had been too much to ask for apparently.

Just when they started to believe it was really truly over, a revenant showed up at the station wanting to finish what the mighty Bulshar couldn’t. It wasn’t over, they were still cursed, and it broke Wynonna. It had only gotten worse when Nicole got Perry’s call. She was gone before midnight and she hasn’t been back since.

Now she doesn’t know how to proceed or how this is going to work.

She looks at the sleeping girl next to her and she can feel the pain in her chest lessening. Whatever happens, they’ll get through this. Despite the time and distance, they’re family.

 

* * *

 

 

When the bus pulls into the station the sun still isn’t up, the sky is still dark and full of stars, and Alice is still asleep… mostly. She refuses to get off the bus unless she’s being carried, and Nicole is happy they sat at the back of the bus; because it takes her an unreasonably long time to arrange their carry-ons and Alice into a suitable position to where they can walk. As they walk step off the bus, Alice tucks her nose into the crook of Nicole’s neck, pressing her forehead right under Nicole’s ear. They both sigh in contentment at the familiarity of the gesture, both drawing comfort from the other.

Nicole can’t help but groan when she sees the rest of their luggage. It hits her then how much she just wants to lay down and sleep. She hasn’t gotten a full night’s sleep in over five years. She’s exhausted.

Nicole spends almost ten minutes trying to flag down an employee to ask for assistance. They all seem content to just ignore her. Alice watches lazily with droopy eyes and her thumb in her mouth. Nicole strokes her dark hair absent mindedly still trying to find someone who could help.

By the time a disgruntled teenager drags a luggage cart over to them, Nicole can’t feel her right arm and Alice is snoozing comfortably once again. She doesn’t even care that one of the wheels doesn’t work, she’s ready to get out of there. She knows she still has quite a drive ahead of her, so she stops in front of a vending machine and gets herself a drink with more caffeine than is probably healthy for a human heart.

With Alice wrapped around her like a koala bear, she slowly pushes her way out of the bus station and finds the car that Perry had left for them. After she struggles over, she places Alice on the luggage cart and digs around in the wheel well for the hidden keys. She almost shouts in victory when she locates it, only just stopping herself in time when she remembers that Alice is still sleeping.

As she opens the door and looks in the back, she’s happy to find that Perry remembered a car seat for Alice. If he hadn’t, she doesn’t know what she would do. She struggles slightly as she straps Alice into her seat, the young girl tightening her hold around Nicole’s neck subconsciously, not wanting to be separated from the redhead. Nicole can’t help but chuckle when Alice murmurs about her beloved stuffed bunny, Mrs. Pickles. Nicole would be lying if she said that she didn’t spend another eight minutes looking through their luggage for said stuffed animal so that Alice had something to cuddle during the drive.

They spend what feels like hours in silence that seems to drown Nicole. The desolate landscape that speeds past their windows, doing little to provide her company. She feels even worse when they pass through the mountains, her thoughts seemingly echoing all around her, bouncing off each other’s faces, reverberating to Nicole’s very core.

Jesus, Wynonna was right all those years ago, she was a walking bumper sticker.

“Mo.” Nicole startles at the sweet, quiet voice sounding from her right.

“Yeah, monkey?” Nicole looks at Alice through the rearview mirror. The little girl is rubbing her fists against her eye trying to wake herself up. Nicole smiles at the adorable sight.

“We ‘most there?” Alice grumbles, still rubbing her eyes.

“Yeah, baby, we’re almost there.” Nicole tells her, reaching her hand back to rub her knee.

“Mo-” she yawns before finishing her name for Nicole- “mo, I’m hungry.” Alice squeezes Mrs. Pickles closer to her chest with her right hand and grabs Nicole’s hand with her left.

“I know baby, we’ll be there soon, and we’ll grabs some pancakes at the diner on the way to the homestead, okay? Does that sound good?” Nicole makes eye contact with Alice through the mirror, quirking an eyebrow. Alice starts to bounce in her car seat, nodding her head in excitement. “Is that a yes, monkey?”

“It’s a yes,” Alice says with a giggle. “It’s a yes.”

“Well, as long as you’re absolutely sure,” Nicole says as they pass by the first few buildings on the way into the center of Purgatory. The sky in the horizon now pink with the impending sunrise.

“I’m a hundred and ten percent sure,” Alice giggles.

“Wow, that’s really sure,” Nicole says with a smile. She laughs at the serious look that falls over Alice’s features. She’s temporarily distracted from her thoughts about the town. About how everything; every building, street corner, and road feels so familiar, yet so foreign.

“Yeah, it’s really, really sure.” Alice nods her head along with her words.

“Okay, pancakes it is,” Nicole’s words are met with cheers from the young girl as they pull into the diner parking lot. She laughs again when, as they exit the car- Nicole unbuckling Alice from her car seat- Alice begins quietly chanting, ‘pancakes’ over and over again, all the way into the diner.

“Hi, welcome to Dee’s, how can I help you?” the hostess asks as the bell over the door rings out and Nicole and Alice shuffle in. They stop in front of the hostess and Alice leans back against Nicole’s legs and grabbing the hands that rest on her shoulders as she rocks on her heels in excitement.

“Pancakes,” Alice all but yells, her rocking morphing into an odd bounce.

“We’d like a booth, please,” Nicole laughs, running a hand through Alice’s hair.

The hostess, Ava her name tag reads, leads them to a booth by the window. Alice happily slides in and drags Nicole in behind her. The waitress places two menus down in front of them. A regular one for Nicole and a children’s one for Alice. To the waitress’ surprise Alice is quick to drag Nicole’s menu off of the table and into her lap, ignoring the crayons and paper menu completely. Nicole just smiles at the waitress and says, “She takes her food very seriously.” The waitress just nods and walks away.

Alice curls into Nicole’s side and peers up at her, the open menu still in her lap.

“You’ve been here, right momo?” Alice asks, casting her gaze around the empty diner before looking back up at Nicole.

“That’s right baby,” Nicole tells her, “I used to come here all the time when I lived here. Your mama loved their donuts and your aunt loved their-”

“Vegan burritos,” Alice finishes for her. She looks back down at the menu, “I ‘member momo.”

“That’s good.” Nicole runs her hand up and down Alice’s arm and gets lost in thought for what seems like the thousandth time that day alone. Her spiraling is interrupted by the waitress asking them if they were ready to order.

“Yes, ma’am,” Alice says, placing the menu back on the table. Nicole smiles as Alice begins to order, as is customary for her as of late. Every time they went out to eat in the past few months, Alice ordered for the both of them, thus ensuring they both get the same thing. Nicole thinks it’s adorable, but she would be happy if she never had to eat chicken tenders again. Because, Alice doesn’t really read the menu, no, she looks at the pictures and asks for her favorite foods. “We’d like orders of your t’iple stack pancakes with gravy instead of syr’p, and two slices of bacon with scrambled eggs on the side p’ease.”

The waitress looks at Nicole, unsure of whether or not she should take this seriously, and Nicole nods at her. She has to admit, it is a weird order. Nicole herself has had to grow accustomed to it. Alice despises syrup, but loves her some pancakes, the only problem; her pancakes can’t be plain, because, “That’s just wrong, momo, that’s just wrong.” If there was one thing that set Alice apart from her Earp heritage, it’s that she isn’t the biggest fan of sweet foods. With the exception of donuts. After she had heard about her mother’s love for the pastry, she had been determined to love them too. But anything else she can’t stand. Nicole swears, Alice is the only child she’s ever met who hates cake.

The waitress shifts awkwardly as she asks Nicole what they would like to drink, only to be answered by Alice once again.

“We’d like orange juice p’ease.” She lifts her arms, so she can fold her hands nicely on the table. The waitress writes the order down, grabs the menus, and races away, wanting to exit the situation quickly.

“Guess they’re not used to kids knowing what they want, huh monkey?” Nicole asks, moving her hand from Alice’s arm to her head and stroking the hair there.

“Uh huh,” Alice murmurs, trying to snuggle into Nicole’s side even more.

They sit in silence as they wait for their orders. Nicole was just starting to think that Alice has fallen asleep when she starts talking, “Momo, why didn’t mama and Wavy meet us at the bus?”

Nicole can feel her heart squeeze at the question.

“Because monkey, they can’t know where we’re coming from, remember?” Nicole shifts so that she can look Alice in the eye. “Because, if things-”

“Go bad again, people can’t know where our safe place is. I ‘member momo,” Alice says quietly.

“So, we couldn’t tell them when we were coming or where we were coming from. Right?”

“Right,” Alice says fiercely. Or as fiercely as a five-year-old can. She pauses, and Nicole can see that she’s struggling with something. The next words out of Alice’s mouth crack with sadness, “I want to go home momo. I miss my home.”

Nicole pulls Alice into her as she starts crying and she rocks her back and forth to sooth her, whispering comforting words in her ear, “I know baby. I know. I miss our house too. But, do you remember what I told you? Do you remember what we said after the first time we had to move, and you missed our old house?”

“Walls don’t make home, love make home.” Alice’s words are broken as she tries to stop crying.

“That’s right baby.” Nicole continues rocking Alice back and forth. “I have you, and you have me. And soon we’ll have your mama and your auntie, and your grandma too. There will be even more love than before, you know that right? There will be so much love, you’ll forget all about how it used to be. You won’t even care about the tiny little house we used to have.” Alice considers her words for a few seconds.

“I still sad.” Alice rubs her face on Nicole’s shirt, trying to rid her face of tears, and snot, but mostly tears.

“I know, and you cry all you want until you feel better okay? It’s okay to be sad, I’m sad too,” Nicole tells her, and Alice jerks back to look up at her in surprise.

“Really?” Alice asks in disbelief.

“Really,” Nicole responds with a soft, sad smile.

“Why?” Alice asks her, shifting to her knees on the bench so that she can look Nicole straight in the eyes.

“Because, now that we’re back things are going to really change, and you won’t need me anymore,” Nicole tells her, cupping her cheek with her right hand. “It’s going to be hard to let go.”

“I need you,” Alice exclaims, her eyes wide with panic. “I always need you. You don’t need let go.”

“I know baby, but it’s complicated, you know that. Like I said, now you’re gonna have your mama and your auntie and your grandma. I’ll always be there, but you won’t need me as much and that makes me sad.” Nicole sniffs and tries to blink her tears away. She almost breaks when Alice leans forward and presses her forehead to Nicole’s.

“I hold on momo, even if you have to let go, I hold on. I promise,” Alice whispers to her, eye contact never wavering. “And it’s a forehead promise, those can’t be broken. ‘Member?”

“I remember monkey.” Nicole sniffs again.

“You still sad?” Alice whispers, and Nicole can’t help but release a watery chuckle.

“Yeah, a little,” Nicole tells her, pulling her in for a tight hug. “How about you? Are you still sad?”

“Yeah,” Alice echoes, “a little.”

“That’s okay,” Nicole assures her. “You can be sad for as long as you want.” Nicole spots the waitress approaching in the reflection on the window. “But, for now how about we just enjoy our breakfast, okay?”

Alice squeals in excitement as she scurries to sit properly on the booth, so she can start eating as soon as the food is in front of her.

“How’d you do that momo?” Alice asks as the waitress places her plate in front of her waiting to begin until she places her napkin neatly in her lap just like Nicole.

“I’ve told you,” Nicole starts with a smile, “it’s because I’m a cop.”

“Because you’re a cop,” Alice finishes with her. Causing Nicole to pause and look over at her. “I know.”

“If you know,” the redhead begins, “why did you ask?”

“I like being ‘minded.” Alice looks up at Nicole fleetingly as she reaches forward to grab her utensils.

“It’s _re_ minded, Alice,” she says as she grabs the fork and knife from the young girl and begins cutting her food into manageable pieces.

“’Minded,” Alice ‘repeats’, looking Nicole dead in the eye.

“Re,” Nicole prompts, pausing her movements with the cutlery.

“Re,” Alice actually repeats this time.

“’Minded.” The cutting of Alice’s food recommences.

“’Minded,” Alice says not even blinking.

“Reminded,” Nicole combines, smiling encouragingly at Alice as she finishes cutting the pancakes.

“’Minded,” Alice says again causing Nicole to laugh and shake her head at the girl.

“Alright, Miss Sassafras, eat your pancakes,” she orders turning back to her own plate to begin eating herself as Alice happily complies with her orders, shoving as many bites of pancakes as she can into her mouth before actually chewing.

 

* * *

 

 

 

The drive from the diner to the homestead had been silent and uncomfortable. Both of the occupants in the car worried about what would happen next. But both for very different reasons. One was afraid that these new people wouldn’t love her, and the other was afraid that she would be cut off from her family now that her “duties” have been fulfilled. For a hot second she debates whether or not she’s above kidnapping before deciding that she could never do that to Alice.

Though, as they pull up the drive to the homestead she considers slamming the car in reverse and coming back another day. She stops a little further away from the house then she probably should have, but to parking closer would make her feel like she’s intruding.

“You ready?” Nicole asks Alice, who can only nod her response. Her nerves making it hard for her to talk. “Stay in here until I come and get you alright?” Another nod and Nicole rolls Alice’s window down, hoping the fresh air will help calm her.

The sun is just rising over the homestead when Nicole opens her car door and steps out onto the Earp’s gravel driveway.

“Love you, monkey,” she says, looking back at Alice.

“Love you too, momo.” Nicole smiles and closes her door, the sound deafening in the still morning air.

She slowly walks towards the house, her steps seeming to drag as she forces herself not to run. She truly thinks that she’s not prepared what’s about to come. It’s making her insides squirm and she just wishes that she could calm down.

The door flies open before she can even reach the porch, and everything seems to freeze. Though, part of that is because she’s staring down the barrel of a gun she recognizes, part of it is the scream she hears coming from the car, and the other part of it is the two familiar faces looking at her right now.

“Shit, Nicole, holy shit,” Wynonna lowers the gun quickly, her eyes glancing around looking for Alice.

Waverly remains silent behind Wynonna and that crushes Nicole just a little bit.

“Hey,” Nicole says awkwardly.

“Hey?” Wynonna asks vaguely, now staring at the car. Nicole follows her line of sight and nods in understanding.

Waverly still says nothing.

“I wanted to keep her in the car,” Nicole tells Wynonna softly, “just in case our welcome was less than warm.” Wynonna flinches slightly at her words and then nods. “Stay here, I’ll go get her.”

Wynonna leans against the door jamb for support, Waverly’s hand on her back providing even more support and Wynonna glances at her with a grateful smile before she looks back at the car Nicole is now rounding. This is it, and to be honest, she’s scared shitless.

Waverly won’t admit it out loud, because right now she needs to be strong for Wynonna, but she’s also scared out of her mind. She doesn’t want to mess this up, but with her nerves, she feels as thought that might be inevitable. That’s not even including how her heart is racing right now after seeing Nicole for the first time in over five years. She thinks she’s going to be sick.

Yep, she’s definitely going to be sick, and as she watches Nicole talk to the small figure in the car, she can only hope that she can make it through this ordeal _before_ she gets sick.


	2. First Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a long awaited reunion, that doesn't quite go as expected. And we get our first look into why Nicole hates the Earp barn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ! I've changed the story summary, and some of the premise of the story. This story is now also going to include a look into what if it had been Nicole who had been in Eden with Waverly. There will be flashbacks between both what happened in Eden and what happened after Nicole left. The story will mainly focus on Alice and Family, but I really wanted to explore this idea I have. Waverly not telling Nicole about sacrificing herself will still be a part of this story. Just trust me and wait and see. Please review and let me know what you think! Disclaimer- these characters are not mine.

“You ready monkey?” Nicole asks, trying to make her voice sound soothing, despite the fact that she too, is really shaken from the encounter. She watches as Alice shakes her head. “What’s wrong baby?”

“Scared,” Alice whimpers into the fur of Mrs. Pickles.

Nicole squats next to the open door to look up at Alice and places her hand on her knee. The bright sun filters into the car warming it quickly. In that moment Nicole almost feels as though she’s too hot, too overwhelmed.

“Why are you scared princess?” Nicole rubs circles on Alice’s knee trying to calm her down.

“She pointed gun at you,” Alice says, looking back at the porch where Wynonna and Waverly are waiting. Nicole looks back just in time to see Wynonna hide said gun behind her back looking stricken with guilt.

“I know baby, but we talked about this too, remember? I told you that because scary people have been trying to hurt your mama and aunt for so long, your mama might still be on guard when we got here.” Nicole shifts her weight so that she’s leaning even closer to Alice, replacing her hand with her chin in the way that she knows Alice loves. “She didn’t mean to scare you it’s just a force of habit.”

“-Force of habit,” Alice says with Nicole, her breathing finally beginning to calm. Nicole offers her a small smile, when she looks down at her.

“That’s right, Alice. She didn’t mean anything by it. They weren’t expecting us remember? They didn’t know it was me okay?” Nicole almost sighs in relief at the tiny ‘okay’ that escapes Alice’s lips. “Good, are you ready now?”

“Can we wait for little bit?” Alice asks her quietly. “Almost ready.”

“Of course, we can wait, sweet pea, we have all the time in the world.” Nicole rolls her head side to side on Alice’s knee making the young girl laugh at Nicole’s antics. “You take as long as you need okay Alice?”

“Okay.”

And so, they wait.

And so, Wynonna feels like she’s going to burst from her nerves. What is taking so long, why is it so quiet? These questions and more fly through her head as she stares at the outline of the small figure in the car. She’s so close, so close she can taste it. She doesn’t want to wait, but she will. She’ll wait because the last time she jumped the gun she scared her daughter.

 _Her daughter_.

It feels so surreal for her to think about. Her daughter is here, with her, after all these years. She doesn’t know how to handle this. She’s woefully unprepared. It’s been exactly a month since the curse has broken. She had all of this time to prepare, and she feels like she did the day she found out she was pregnant.

She’s stopped mid-spiral when Waverly places a hand on her back. She’s yanked back to the present when she hears Nicole’s voice once again.

“Do you want to bring Mrs. Pickles for support?” Nicole asks as she leans into the car to unbuckle Alice.

“Yeah,” Alice says, hugging the stuffed bunny tightly to her chest.

“Okay,” Nicole tells her, final unbuckling her car seat. “Do you want to walk, or do you want me to carry you?”

“Carry me, p’ease?” Alice wraps her arms around Nicole’s neck, Mrs. Pickles now firmly in her hand.

Nicole chuckles lightly at how Alice didn’t even wait for her response before acting, “Alright, let’s go. And you don’t need to be nervous okay? They’ll love you no matter what. You could have a horn like a unicorn and they would still love you, you hear me?”

“Yeah,” Alice giggles quietly. “I hear you.”

The rest of the short walk to the homestead porch is silent. No one makes a sound as Alice hides her face in Nicole’s neck before they reach the other two women. The only sound is Nicole’s boots as the scrape against the gravel, her harsh breaths against the chilled morning air, and a lone crow in the distance.

All of which comes to an abrupt halt along with Nicole’s footsteps. No one moves, Alice seems to be the only one who breathes. They stand and stare. None of them know for how long. Alice squirms uncomfortably, pulling her arms from around Nicole’s neck and tucking them into her chest. Mrs. Pickles pressed firmly into her chest for comfort.

The spell breaks when Wynonna suddenly rushes forward, stopping right in front of the duo. Waverly close behind her looking almost as unsure as Wynonna. Wynonna reaches out to touch Alice but stops before she does almost as though she’s thought better of it, her hand drops back down to her side.

Nicole kneels down to gently place Alice on her feet. They don’t say anything to each other as they look at the other. Nicole offers Alice a reassuring smile before playfully nudging her chin up, away from her chest, earning a smile from the light haired girl.

Nicole rises to her feet and turns Alice to face Wynonna by the shoulders. When neither move towards the other, Nicole lightly nudges Alice forward. Alice shuffles and throws Nicole and exasperated look over her shoulder. Nicole knows she’s supposed to feel scolded, but that was just too cute.

Alice and Wynonna stare at each other.

Wynonna has tears in her eyes and she’s not even ashamed to admit it.

“Hi,” Wynonna starts.

“Hello.” Alice twists her body from side to side. A habit Nicole noticed she picked up for when she’s unsure and nervous.

“I like your bunny,” Wynonna tries, squatting in front of Alice so that they can have level eye contact.

Alice doesn’t respond as she walks forward with her hand out stretched towards Wynonna. Wynonna feels tears slip out as she grasps the tiny hand in front of her.

“Hi, mama, I’m Alice. It’s nice to meet you.” Alice gives their hands an exaggerated shake, and a soft sob forces its way past Wynonna’s lips. But she’s not crying, at least, not yet.

“Hi, Alice,” she whispers.

“Can I hug you?” Alice twists, once again unsure.

Wynonna doesn’t say anything as she pulls Alice to her and falls backwards onto her butt as she loses what strength she had left in her legs. Wynonna cradles Alice’s head to the crook of her neck and she blinks up at the cloudless sky, trying to stop her tears before they come. For the first time in almost six years she finally feels complete. She no longer has that deep and low ache in her heart that she had grown accustomed to. She wants to yell in joy, but she refrains for fear of startling her daughter.

_Her daughter._

“Mama, I can’t breathe,” Alice giggles. She squirms against Wynonna’s hold, but Wynonna doesn’t want to let go. “Momo, it’s too tight.”

“Wynonna.” Nicole steps forward to intervene, her protective instinct kicking in.

“I’m sorry,” Wynonna says. “I’m sorry. It’s just been so long. I’ve waited so long to hold you.” She finally loosens her hold but doesn’t completely let go.

“It’s okay,” Alice says, rubbing Wynonna’s back as best as she can; the way momo does for her. And damn it all, if Wynonna didn’t almost shatter right then and there.

Waverly had slowly made her way forward during the reunion and was now standing right behind the embraced pair. When Alice looks up at her and whispers a ‘hello’, Waverly drops to her knees and hugs the duo. She too, is fighting the tears in her eyes. They sit there for who knows how long before they all finally pull apart. Both Wynonna and Waverly hold Alice an arm’s length away and cup separate cheeks.

Alice looks between the both of them unsure of what is going to happen next. They continue to stare at her, so she fiddles with Mrs. Pickles ears nervously. What is she supposed to do? Should she go stand by momo again? She wants to, but that doesn’t feel right. Momo said they need some time to process, whatever that means. Maybe they want-

“Are we going to hug again?” Alice asks the women in front of her in a whisper, not wanting to startle them. “Because if so, can momo have a hug too? I don’t want her to feel left out.”

“I’m okay Alice,” Nicole chimes in, shifting her weight awkwardly when all three look at her. Alice tilts her head to the side as if to ask Nicole, ‘ _really_ ’? Nicole smiles at her. “Really monkey, I’m okay. We just had a big breakfast, if I get squeezed too hard I’ll be sick.”

Those were the wrong words, because what was a concerned pout a second ago is now a devious grin she knows all to well. She recognized it the first time she saw it. That’s Wynonna’s devious grin.

“Oh yeah?” Alice slowly pulls away from Wynonna and Waverly, and advances towards the redhead.

It’s as though the whole atmosphere has changed.

“Alice. We’re supposed to be serious right now, remember? We talked about this too. Alice.” Alice continues her advance and Nicole starts backing away her hands in front of her to intercept the small body if this goes south. “Alice, no. No.” Alice is giggling up a storm now as she approaches Nicole, the latter with a faux terrified expression on her face.

It’s as though Wynonna and Waverly aren’t even there.

Nicole and Alice race around the yard. Nicole backwards and Alice with her arms outstretched waiting for a hug. Their laughter rings through the silence around them. The sound makes both onlookers smile softly. Nicole is finally “caught” and is groaning in pain from the strength of Alice’s hug when Wynonna finally clears her throat in an attempt to regain her daughter’s attention.

The duo freezes and looks at the woman and Wynonna shifts awkwardly once again. This is strange for her, because her own eyes are staring straight up at her. Her heart twinges slightly when she sees that neither Alice nor Nicole have made a move to separate from the other.

Waverly finally decides that she needs to cut through this awkward silence when she says, “Why don’t we head inside? It’s a bit chilly out here.”

“Yes,” Wynonna exclaims. Turning towards the door and heading straight towards it. “Yes, that’s a great idea baby girl. Would you like a tour of the house Alice?”

“Yes, p’ease,” She responds politely, finally extricating herself from Nicole’s grip.

The others make their way up the porch and follow Wynonna into the house.

“So, we set up the room upstairs, the one across from Waverly’s room. It’s a little small, but it should be big enough for Alice.” Wynonna walks backwards through the living room as she addresses Nicole and Alice.

“What about momo?” Alice asks looking up at the redhead in concern.

“I’ll be okay sweet pea,” Nicole reassures her, squatting down to her level. “I’ll probably sleep on the couch down here.”

“But then you’ll be all alone,” Alice whispers sadly over the head of Mrs. Pickles.

“No, I won’t.” Nicole reaches forward and pushes a stray piece of hair back behind her ear. “Your mama will be down here with me. And the kitchen, you know how I feel about my midnight snacks.”

“But, you don’t actually eat a snack at midnight,” Alice tells her as though that was the worst excuse she could have used. Nicole quirks her brow.

“And just how, tell me, do you know that?” Nicole asks, her eyes narrowing at the girl in front of her.

“I wanted to have snack with you once. I stayed up all night for it. But you didn’t even get snack you just walked around the house and yard for hours.” Alice crosses her arms in front of her chest, doing her best to glare at her momo.

“It wasn’t hours,” Nicole says, trying to defend herself.

“Uh-huh.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Uh-huh.” Alice stomps her foot in frustration. “I ‘member. You only came back inside when the sun came up.”

“I was struck by the sudden urge to garden.” Nicole glances over her shoulder to the other two women in the room, both of whom are staring at her and Alice. Nicole wishes Alice had waited until they were alone so that they could’ve had this conversation in private.

“Liar, you hate gardens. You said they were either created by the devil or god when he was really drunk and feeling vinitive.” Alice waves her hands around, like she’s seen her momo do when she’s trying to make a point.

“Vindictive,” Nicole corrects, once again looking at the other women in the room.

“That’s what I said. Vinitive.”

“Alice we’ll talk about this later, the point I was trying to make is that I’ll be fine,” Nicole sighs pinching her nose.

They have a staring contest before Alice finally mutters, “Fine.” And turns to face her mama and aunt.

“Why don’t we continue giving you the tour huh?” Wynonna asks, tapping her hands against her thighs awkwardly. Alice looks up at  Nicole, as if asking for permission.

“You go ahead monkey,” Nicole gives her a small push forward. “I’m going to unload our stuff from the car. Give you all some time alone to catch up.”

Alice looks back at her momo, confused as to why she doesn’t want to stay with her, but when she sees that look on her face. That look she has only seen a few times before. The look that she gets when she feels like she’s trapped. Alice knows she just needs a second to compose herself, so she nods and turns towards her mama and aunt. Nicole is out the door before Alice is done nodding.

The fact that neither go after he momo, makes her angry. But her momo said it’s to be expected so, she’ll let it slide for now.

As Nicole makes her way back to her car and for the first time since getting back, she casts her gaze over to the barn.

Shit, she hates that barn.

 

* * *

 

 

Nicole knows that she needs to stay awake. She knows that, but it is so damn hard. She just wants to lay down and sleep. It was a mistake to try walking to the homestead. She wishes that those mindless drones hadn’t slashed her tires. She shouldn’t be walking.

But she has to see Waverly one last time.

She keeps telling herself that she’ll be fine. She says it out loud to herself, but inside she hears a tiny voice telling her that she’s dying. That she’s not going to make it. She refuses to listen, but every step that she takes is slower and shorter. Dragging across the dirt road she’s walking on.

“Okay, you can do this Haught,” she hisses to herself. The stumbles over a rock sticking out of the ground, and it sends a jolt up to her wound, causing her to fall to her knees. She groans in agony as she presses even more pressure to her wound.

She struggles to rise to her feet, her breathing becoming even more labored than before.

“Okay breathe Haught,” she mumbles through her teeth. When did her vision get so blurry? “Get your panties out of your buns.” She’s starting to get tunnel vision and she can’t draw a full breath. “Ah,” she exclaims. “Turns out getting stabbed really hurts.” She stumbles for the final time, before she falls forward and rolls onto her back. “Ah,” she gasps, applying even more pressure to her wound. She can’t die here, she won’t. She has to get to Waverly. She rolls her head to look up the road and when she sees who is coming towards her she wishes she had the strength to draw her gun. Grunting she says, “Oh, of all the jerks in all the-”

She doesn’t remember anything else until the barn.

She looks up at Wynonna above her and the fear in the other woman’s eyes is enough for Nicole to know that she doesn’t have long. She rolls her head, pressing the back of it into the haybale in pain. To her left she sees Charlie kneeling next to her. She hears Wynonna tell Doc to go get Waverly but watches as he stays put. After that everything begins to sound as though she’s underwater.

Her eyes are unfocused, they just won't settle. They fly from face to face, then rafters to the wall then the door, and back again.

She can feel a hand running through her hair. The motion makes it that much harder for Nicole to keep her eyes open. She just doesn’t want to anymore. She wants to sleep.

Someone wipes something against her wound and she arches upwards, screaming in agony. Why can’t they just leave her alone?

She’s crying, the hand that was in her hair moves, to wipe her cheeks. She leans into the touch finding it soothing.

Everything around Nicole becomes vivid at the searing pain in her side. She scream is bloodcurdling. Her hands grip at the forearms holding her shoulders down. She writhes and writhes until finally the burning subsides. She slumps back against the haybale beneath her.

She is breathing heavily as her senses seep back into focus. She can hear what they’re saying now. Charlie’s talking. ‘He has a nice voice,’ she thinks to herself, she finds it soothing.

“- all of it. She was lucky to have survived so long.” Julian stumbles backwards slightly.

“Why can’t you finish healing the rest of it?” Wynonna asks, still running her hands through Nicole’s hair.

“I’ve already used everything I have to heal her. I have nothing left.” Julian shakily tries to rise to his feet staggering slightly.

“But you didn’t heal her,” Wynonna all but yells, looking at the gash that is still on Nicole’s side.

“She’ll be okay. I’ve done all that I can do.” Julian pauses to look back at the two women on his way to the barn door. “I’m sorry. Stay with her, I’m going to Waverly.”

At Waverly’s name Nicole shoots upright, gasping in pain. She’s pushed back down again, just as quickly as when she sat up.

“Waverly,” she whispers desperately.

“She’s okay. You’re not, you need to rest.” Wynonna rips part of Nicole’s shirt off and presses it to the wound. “We’ll get you some bandages from inside, but first let’s get you over to the mattress to lay you down, okay? Doc come help me.”

Her words send Nicole into a frenzy. Nicole sits up once again and points her gun at Doc. “If you take one step towards me John Henry, I will shoot you where you stand. This changes nothing.”

Wynonna has to rush to support Nicole’s weight when the redhead forces herself to her feet.

“It’s okay Nicole,” Wynonna helps the other woman cross the short distance to the mattress in the corner of the barn. She eases Nicole down to the mattress and helps to situate her into a comfortable position. “He won’t come near. I need to go to the house for bandages, so I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be okay,” Nicole forces the words through her teeth, grimacing in pain. She pulls out her wooden bullets and loads them into her gun. “I came prepared.”

“Yeah, okay Nicole.” Wynonna looks over at Doc who is standing by the door with his head down. “I’ll be right back. Just don’t die.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey.” The voice behind her causes Nicole to jump. She had just finished unpacking the car a few minutes ago and was sitting on the porch waiting for Alice to finish her tour of the homestead.

Nicole turns to see Waverly standing in the doorway. Nicole removes her hands from the porch railing and stuffs them in her pockets.

“Oh.” Nicole pivots her body slightly away from Waverly before swinging right back. “Hey.”

“You look tired,” Waverly says immediately backtracking at Nicole’s quirked eyebrow. “Not that that’s a bad thing, or that you look bad. I just mean that you look like you could use a nap.”

“I understand,” Nicole says with a small smile. She leans against the railing behind her trying to appear relaxed when she is anything but. “I feel exhausted, so you probably aren’t wrong about be looking tired. So, no harm done.”

They stand in an awkward silence, both refusing to look at the other. Waverly fidgets with her hands before she can’t take the silence anymore.

“So, you don’t like gardens huh?” She meant it as a joke but when she sees Nicole’s face she immediately regrets it. Nicole’s features seem to turn to stone right before her very eyes.

“Yeah,” Nicole responds, looking out over the front yard, towards the mountains. “I’ve had some bad experiences with gardens. They’ve been known to wreak havoc in my life. ”

Waverly gulps audibly at the underhanded comment.

“Nicole-” whatever Waverly was going to say is interrupted by a blur that comes racing out of the house and plowing into the redhead.

“Momo,” Alice yells all the way into Nicole’s arms. Once she gets there she taps Nicole’s thigh, as is her customary signal, asking for the woman to pick her up. Nicole obliges without a thought. Alice wraps one arm around Nicole’s neck and places her other hand on the cold cheek in front of her, as though she wants to ensure that the woman is looking at her. “Momo, guess what?”

“What, baby?” Nicole says a soft smile settling over her lips as she looks at Alice.

“They have donuts in the kitchen,” Alice says, looking Nicole straight in the eye.

“That’s great monkey,” Nicole says, “but we just had breakfast so unless the have sugared-”

“We’re not interested,” Alice finishes giggling. “But, momo, they do have sugared.”

“Then I guess you and I will have to go get us some donuts, huh?” Nicole looks to the door of the homestead to find Wynonna standing there.

“Yeah, I offered her some, but she said that she had to check with you.” Wynonna picks at her fingernail beds while she talks. Not wanting to make eye contact with Nicole, for fear she would see the disappointment there.

“Thank you for checking monkey.” Nicole tickles Alice’s sides as she talks, making Alice laugh again. The girl places her head on Nicole’s shoulder when she’s done. “If it weren’t for the fact that I know you’re about ready for a long nap I’d say no, because I don’t want you hyped up, but you’re going to sleep anyway, so I guess it’s alright.”

Alice and Wynonna cheer at her words. Waverly can’t do anything but watch from the sidelines and follow as the others make their way into the homestead, heading for the kitchen. They sit around the table, Alice in Nicole’s lap. Alice’s legs bracket Nicole’s, and she’s pressing her back to Nicole’s front. This time both Waverly and Wynonna feel their hearts twinge at the sight, wishing that Alice felt that kind of familiarity with one of them.

Wynonna pushes the plate of donuts towards Nicole and Alice, the latter leaning forward and grabbing two of the sugared donuts, handing one to Nicole as she leans back against her chest. Both Earp women watch in awe as both Nicole and Alice rip a chunk off of the donut and eating it, completely in sync. It was as though they had one brain when they were eating the donuts, tearing one more chunk off to eat before they go straight for the donut instead of tearing pieces off.

“So,” Wynonna starts, “Alice.” She can feel her body freeze when the girl turns her gaze towards her mama. “Tell me about yourself. What are your hobbies, favorite foods, favorite movies? Stuff like that. Tell me everything.”

“Everything?” she asks in a tiny voice, looking back at her momo, unsure of what to say. Nicole gives her an encouraging nod and kisses the top of her head once she’s turned back around.  
“Okay. I like reading, hiking, and rock climbing. My favorite food on the whole planet is pizza, but that’s also tied with momo’s pancakes. What else did you want to know again? I forgot.”

“Favorite movies and such,” Wynonna prompts happy that Alice is addressing her directly.

“Oh, I love the Toy Story movies, and I love the Incredibles movies. Those are my favorite.” Alice continues to talk, now jumping from one topic to another.

But Waverly can only focus on the woman behind her niece. The look of love on her face as she looks down at Alice as she talks, steals Waverly’s breath away. God, how she’s missed this woman. She’s waited for this moment for years now, and yet she doesn’t know what to do. She can’t afford to mess this up. She knows that they left things off on shaky ground, but she knows that they can fix this.

She has to fix this.

She will fix this.

Nothing will stop her from fixing this.

Because, if Waverly is anything, it’s determined. She doesn’t care how long it takes, she’s willing to take her time, because she will not lose this again. She just won’t. She can wait.

_Because I do. I do, Nicole Rayleigh Haught. I really, really love you._

Her thoughts are interrupted by a sharp kick to her shin.

“What?” she asks, leaning forward to rub her shin.

“Alice was just asking you who your favorite fairytale character is,” Wynonna informs her.

“My favorite fairytale character is Robin Hood.” Her answer is met with an excited gasp and bouncing as the girl turns to look up at her guardian.

“Momo, that’s our favorite too,” she exclaims happily.

“That’s right baby,” Nicole says, tickling her sides once again. And when Alice howls with laughter, Waverly is absolutely certain of one thing.

If she has too, she will wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read and review! Let me know what you think! You're comments are what inspire me to write. So please, give me your thoughts! I really hope you're liking the story so far.

**Author's Note:**

> Please Read and Review, Let me know what you think and if you think I should continue!


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